Are We More Than We Think We Are?

When I was a child, I felt like I had a deep connection to a higher power - God, Source, the universe, or whatever name you want to give it. I knew, on a soul level, that I was loved unconditionally. I could feel that love all around me. I never truly felt alone, because I knew I could connect to this divine presence at any time. I also felt that I was truly present in each moment and somehow everything in nature seemed glowing and magical! I know that I was blessed to have a great childhood, but this felt more than that. Like an inner knowing that I was connected to something greater than myself.

But over the years, fear, doubt, expectations, shame, and a deep need to be accepted by others started to create a cloud over this connection. And I lost that feeling - that sense that I was somehow connected to something more than just my mind and body. I wonder how many of you can relate to this?

I believe now that we come into this world as our true selves. And over time, we learn to mask or disguise who we are - to fit in, follow the rules, and protect ourselves from trauma or avoid the pain that comes with it. We have a deep need to belong as humans. And in order to belong, many of us - depending on our experiences - lose that connection to our soul, and to who we truly are, somewhere early on in life.

For years I didn't even think about it, that connection honestly felt lost forever. But as an adult, I’ve had several experiences where I’ve found that connection again. Interestingly, both came after periods of intense suffering and pain. But those experiences awoke something in me that had been hidden for so long. It felt like an awakening. Waking up to the truth of who I really am, and who we all are. To the universal love - the divine, the higher source of love that moves through the universe and through all of us.

An inner knowing that we are all one. That we are all connected to - and in fact, are - manifestations of this divine source in human form.

I’ve had moments of pure presence where the very awareness of my own existence brought me such deep joy and bliss that the thought of it brought tears to my eyes. I’ve also had moments of deep ecstasy and love during meditation or in connection with nature, where every cell in my body was pulsing with unconditional love. In those moments, I knew the veil had lifted. That I was actually connected to something more. That our true essence is something infinitely beautiful and loveable - buried beneath layers of humanness that disguise the truth along the way.

The connection I had felt as a child was returning. It had never truly left, but had been covered by the inevitable pain and suffering that life brings.

I don’t pretend to fully understand it, or to have all the answers. I used to care only about the science, but my life has taken so many wild twists and turns that I’ve learned to trust my experience and intuition above all else.  All I know is that during the darkest episodes and deepest pain of my life, at some point it felt like the rain finally stopped. I could see the clear sky again, and become aware of and connected once more to who I am - a soul who is part of the divine universe and is one with all there is.

That divine bliss doesn’t last for me - and that’s okay. I return to my humanness, but always with a little more awareness and truth than the time before. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the nature of being human: to forget our truth over and over, and spend a lifetime unravelling those layers to return to who we really are.

Do you feel it too?

That quiet awareness that there’s something beyond what we usually see. That sometimes the veil is lifted, just slightly, and we glimpse our true nature and our connection to something far beyond what the human mind can grasp. A divine love that surrounds us - and ultimately, is us.

That somehow, we are all one. All made of the same source. That we are loved and held so deeply - and there is nothing we can do to make that untrue.

Maybe you know exactly what I’m talking about. Or maybe you think I’m completely mad! But lately, I’ve been feeling a little disconnected again. So I’m writing this as a reminder to myself, as much as to anyone else:

It’s okay. We are human and it's normal to feel disconnected and to stray from our spiritual path. But now I sit with a quiet truth and underlying reminder that no matter how many times I forget, it doesn’t matter anymore. Because a part of me knows there’s more.

That we are more than we think we are.

That there is more to life than we can possibly understand.

And that on this journey of awakening, we are always exactly where we need to be.